Many of us live in a world full of broken relationships. We don’t want things to be this way, but they are and we’re not sure how to fix the problem, so we pretend as though it isn’t there or try to convince ourselves the relationship, which is broken, isn’t that important to us anyways. Truth is, most likely, the relationship is of great importance to us. We are relational beings. We long to be known and have someone know us at the depth of who we are. To deny such a thing is to not be honest with ourselves on an ontological level. It is to say, I am an exception to the rule. That’s like someone saying, I don’t eat, ever, because I’m an exception to the rule. Relationships are that important to human growth and development.
This is why some people spend their lives trying to find one that will satisfy and fulfill them in a way that brings them peace and comfort, but all the while burning bridges with the ones that didn’t fit their felt needs and wishes at the time the relationship was birthed.
It is heart-breaking when one or both of those persons destroy the foundational places of trust in a relationship, making it too difficult for one or both to move forward, because someone involved cannot offer forgiveness and work towards rebuilding trust with the other person.
Forgiveness is the key to moving forward in the rebuilding of any relationship. Without it the relationship stymies and neither party can move forward in the repairing process. It will be a difficult journey of rebuilding, it could be a long process of letting go of emotions that come rushing to the surface as old hurts and disappointments become triggered through the process of forgiveness. Yet, without it, there is no future to the relationship.
Relationships are sacrificial in their nature. The second piece of restoring any relationship is to sacrifice of ones pride and chose to serve the other person in a way that removes all selfish motives. Without sacrificing our time, energies and efforts towards the restoration of the relationship, it stifles, because it has become stagnated by selfishness and impure motives. As they say, it takes two to tango, and any relationship that wants to progress forward must have both persons ready and willing to offer forgiveness, actively sacrificing themselves to the betterment of the relationship.
As you begin the process of rebuilding and restoring you must first ask yourself, is the relationship worth it? Is it a relationship God has entrusted you with and if so, your feelings on the issue do not matter much. What matters more and the question we should be asking ourselves is, what are God’s feelings on this relationship and how should I progress forward with it? If I have a child whom I’ve neglected and abandoned I cannot filter how I will proceed based on how I feel about the relationship, I must bow my feelings and will to Almighty God and submit myself to His thoughts on the matter.
Now, if the other person chooses to not work in tandem with you on the process of restoration, you are not held accountable for their actions, they must choose to humble themselves. If they do not, they are actively working against any restoration God wants to bring and are in sin.
Don’t grow weary in the process. Keep laying one brick at a time, as you do, eventually the foundation starts to be restored and the relationship, over time becomes new as God restores, “what the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25)
Father, we entrust our relationships to you. We need your grace. We know as Christians that we must always be seeking to lay ourselves down as a living sacrifice for the betterment of someone else. Help us to do that today, for your glory, in Jesus name. Amen.