So I felt compelled….(1 Sam 13:12)
Whenever I feel compelled to do something I must ask myself, what is at the root of my motivation?” For many years, as a single woman, I often felt, “compelled” to join Christian dating sites. At the root of my motivation was a deep root of fear. A fear that said, “I cannot trust the hand of God to provide, I must take matters into my own hands.”
I would often convince myself that my motivations were pure, when I knew they weren’t. Oh how foolish I have been to think I could manipulate the hand of God! I remember God speaking very clearly into my life that I would not meet my husband on the internet, but my fear was so great that I didn’t care. God had to bring about very humbling circumstances in my life to strip me of this fear.
In the midst of my wilderness wandering, I met my husband, Rodrigo, through a bible study group. God provided His way, in HIs time, without MY help. After I submitted and gave up my fear, God opened a door, by His hand to draw my husband and I together.
Still, to this day, I struggle against fear. It’s the thing I feel in my heart that makes me want to take over control and do something about it. It’s what rises up in my heart sending me into an internal panic. When I operate from this place I’ll make decisions out of my own internal trepidation. This often makes me feel, “compelled,” to do things God has never asked of me.
Saul didn’t wait for Samuel to come and offer the sacrifice, he did it himself. Abraham, when he was in Egypt feared what the Egyptians would do to him because his wife was so beautiful, so he said she was his sister. Which got both of them put into quite the predicament. Israel feared the Canaanites, so they kept wandering in the wilderness. Jonah feared the Ninevites, so he got swallowed up in the belly of a whale. You get the point. Think about it, if someone were to write a story about your life what would be the theme? Fear or faith?
Would we be like Joshua and Caleb? Who believed in the promises of God, not fearing the enemy. Instead, seeing the victory God had promised to them despite the opposing enemy?
Here are some steps to take when you are overwhelmed with fear.
1. Take note of what is happening in your body. Do you feel more tense, panicked or anxious? If so, take note, this is fear trying to lead you away from placing your faith in God.
2. When you feel afraid, pause, set your heart and mind in a place of rest with God. A scripture I often use is, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
3. Then, surrender your will to God, wait and listen for His voice. Do you sense peace in your Spirit? Is there an overwhelming sense of grace? If so, move forward in that. If you ever feel compelled to do something out of anxiety, restlessness or fear, go back to step two 🙂
Jesus, you are calling me out to walk with you on the water. I’ll be honest, I do not like it. It hits against everything I know. I’m a planner, you know this. Thank you for stretching this planner into a woman of faith. God, even though the journey doesn’t make sense in my own eyes, I know that as I walk in step with you, you will show off your glory. I cannot wait to see what you will do. I will not be afraid, because you are my confidence, in Jesus name, amen.