What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears?….(1 Sa 15:14).
When God gives us a command we must carry it out. We cannot back down from the vision, nor can we change God’s mind to fit the mission to our liking.
Saul convinced himself that he had carried out the mission God had given him. Yet, he was far from completing it. His pride became more important than obedience. Whenever pride trumps obedience we’re sure to fall into a pit of deception.
I can recall years ago, sitting in a bible study and the question was asked, “When do you feel closest to God?” As I have shared before, over-exercising is a struggle of mine and during that time it had taken too high a priority. I said, “I feel closest to God when I’m exercising”….. I think this is one of those moments where God does a “facepalm.” I have been a real dummy, but praise God for His grace for dummies like me.
My pride, or my sin, rather, had become more important than my obedience to God. My obedience to destroy, completely, any idols that might set themselves up against the place God should rightfully have in my heart.
I guess I’m a lot like Saul, not wanting to fully give up and follow because I like being in control. Saul understood the mission, but he wanted to receive from his own hand a blessing instead of allowing God to do that for him. We do the same thing. God says, “give money to this mission,” we only give what is comfortable and hold some back for us. God says, “Don’t spend so much of your time working,” but we rationalize it because we always need more and are afraid that we won’t have enough. God says, “prioritize your family, stop being so busy,” and we say, but my children want to be in all these activities. God says, “do this radical thing,” and we say, God, must not have really meant that. I must not have heard correctly from God.
The first one to justify our sin is always the individual looking back at you in the mirror. Until we’re humble enough to see beyond the surface into our true intentions we will fall prey to deception. We’ll convince ourselves of things God has never said. We’ll walk a pure path of destruction and misery thanks to our unwillingness to place ourselves in the perfect will of God.
God might be calling us to take steps of radical obedience. Do what he has said and hold nothing back. Watch Him work, provide and make a way for you, in Jesus name.
Lord, I don’t want to be like Saul who thought of only himself. I want to be abandoned to you in everything. I will not fear the journey. I can trust you. I want to live without fear for your gospel. I want to walk in obedience to the fullest degree. I want to trust you out in deep waters. Jesus, show me your will, Amen.