Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith?…(Ga 3:2).
I’m a lot more like Saul than I’d care to admit. I have wrongfully tried to control my situations believing that I can dictate my desired outcome through my piety and hard work. Saul made sacrifices to God out of disobedience and fear. I have foolishly acted the same way.
Sometimes our Christian piety is not birthed out of righteousness, but instead, out of a desire to control. Saul wished to usher in military victory by taking matters into his own hands. Going before God with a sacrifice that God was not pleased with. Saul was supposed to wait for Samuel, but he couldn’t. He let fear become the driving force for his actions. He suffered the consequences of his decisions by having the kingdom stripped from him.
Why would we believe that our lives would not suffer the same consequences through our own omission of faith? Thankfully, God is gracious to those who repent, but we must still deal seriously with our need for control. It is simple faith He desires. The kind of faith that sits quietly in His shade. The kind of faith that awaits Him to bring the bounty, not for us to depend upon our self-sufficiency.
For one of the first times in my life, I do not know what the future holds. I have lived nearly my whole life with a plan. The plan made me feel comfortable because I knew what the future was going to hold. Now, I have no idea what even 4 weeks from now holds. Anxiety begins to stir within me. I hear the master say, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I hear Him say, “the righteous will live by faith.”
I have been asking God about faith recently. I thought faith was something I had, but I’m learning that faith is actually something that I lack. I’m learning that faith is growing in me as I let go of my desire to be in control. The what if’s, and I shoulda, woulda, coulda have been running ferociously through my heart and mind. I hear the master say, “You of little faith… “why did you doubt?
I’m learning to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. I’m learning what it really means to trust in God for the manna I need for TODAY. I’m a slow learner, but God is faithful.
Jesus, when I say you are all I need I want that to be true. I do not need to know the plan. I only need to know you. Thank you that in 3,4, or 5 weeks from now you are going to continue to be faithful. I want to receive from your hand. Jesus, be my joy! My heart longs to trust you alone! Amen!