with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” (Psalm 81:16)
God has been opening some doors for me that fear and control are trying to shut. I have asked God for many things over the past few months and now that He is answering my prayers. The thing is, He’s doing it in a way that is pressing my buttons of fear and control. He’s asking me to go somewhere in my faith that is risky. I can’t say that I like it here. I’ll be honest, I really wish he would answer my prayers in a way that makes sense on paper so that I didn’t have to take any risks.
I have fears about money. This has been a deep-rooted issue in my life for many years and God is challenging me to take a step back and invest in some things that are going to require a risk or two. Not an uncalculated, unhealthy risk, but a risk nonetheless.
I hear Him saying, “Heather, why don’t you trust me to provide?” In my flesh, I hear, “because it doesn’t make sense with my present reality. If I do this, what if it fails and I lose things because of it?” Sometimes I think we’re so focused on losing something we hold dear that we forget God is always trying to grow within us something that takes our faith to a deeper level. There is always something to gain when we step out into the unknown with God.
You see, my problem is that if I make a decision that doesn’t turn out how I expected I’ll be the first one to beat myself up over it. I have a hard time giving myself grace because I should have been wise enough to make a better decision. However, sometimes, I honestly think God wants us to fail. Not because He delights in our failing, but because we needed to humbled in some way.
Yesterday, as I was processing through these issues, the enemy was bombarding me with the what if’s of what could happen in my life if I took these risks. Thoughts kept racing through my mind of, “What was I thinking? Why did I ever think I could do something like this? I’m not qualified to do this.”
“Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.”- 2 Corinthians 10:5
As I was talking with my husband through some of these things yesterday I said, “maybe it would make more sense if I did these things when”…..
He said, “What about trusting God?”
I knew he was going to say that….
Jesus, you know that I long to trust you. I have your courage that lives inside of me. I know the enemy wants to steal, kill and destroy the good work you want to do in my life. Today, I want to die to the old woman of fear and control and take up the banner of faith through the Lord Jesus Christ. I lay down the idol of worrying about money in my heart and give you praise for all things because you are trustworthy. Thank you for loving me, in Jesus name, Amen.