He also said, “Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out…. (Ruth 3:15).
Sometimes my heart feels wrapped in a cloud of negativity. Captured there by my own heart. That has a hard time seeing the goodness of God because my vision is distorted by my present worries and distractions. I do not find much joy there. Nor do I sense any working or power of God in the places of my own personal prisons of discouragement. I am learning though that a river flows from God throne into my heart. It is a river of love.
The problem is, I have often viewed God as a bank account, instead of a flowing river. He is the place I have gone to cash in my checks when I have been a good enough girl or when I have worked hard enough to have something to show for it. Wrongfully, I have gone to Him for His approval when I have something to cash in that feels important and worthy of honor.
I am learning though that God desires no checks to be cash in on my account, but only, for me to allow His river of love to flow deep into my heart and soul. This is when I am the very best me. When my heart is at rest in His presence I can give fully and freely of myself to the one in need. Instead of running to the bank, I can sit still, look and listen for the hurting and love on them because God’s flowing river is running through me.
This place is different than I have ever been before, because I have little return on my account, except for His love. His love is something that grows in our hearts so that it changes the way we think and act. When we place ourselves under God’s river of love we can find satisfaction for our longing souls. It is His river of love that becomes the joy and delight of our hearts. Not our accolades, degrees, physical prowess, or salaries.
If I come before God, I must come without pretense. I must come vulnerable before Him because truly, I have found what often lies within my heart when I go before God is not purity, but unclean hands full of worry, negativity, and anxiety. It’s there, as I surrender, that His river of grace fills and surrounds me. It is His love that abounds more and more in me. It is HIs joy that is my delight, not what check I can cash that makes me feel significant in the kingdom.
As Ruth came before Boaz she came vulnerable, ready to receive, pure, sacrificial love. Boaz received her and choose to shower his love upon her. God is the same if we would see him not with eyes of our own understanding, but just simply as a Father who loves His children. Wanting nothing more from them than their presence.
Lord, you love me. Truly, that is enough. This is sometimes hard for me to believe because worry and doubt try to steal my joy. When I find myself running I have a hard time finding joy in you. Oh Lord, be my joy! Shower your grace upon me, in Jesus name, Amen!