“Then come, follow me.”….Luke 18:22
When I ask my three-year-old nephew to come somewhere with me I do not ask him to bring anything. I come prepared to provide what he needs. Whether it’s a pair of gloves, a snack or a toy, I prepare myself to provide for what I believe he’s going to need.
What if my nephew didn’t trust me to provide for what he would need? What if every time we went somewhere he had to keep going back to grab more things? To the point where not even all of them could fit in the car because he was afraid I wouldn’t provide what he needed for our journey. We would never get anywhere and I would never be able to fill his hands with the things I had prepared for him.
I do this with God. I come with my list of expectations, my treasures, hopes and dreams and have a hard time letting go to trust the master to fill my hands with the things He has prepared for me. I imagine, for God, its difficult to take me anywhere with my hands so full and my list of expectations tagging along with me.
God is taking me on this journey. It’s a journey of releasing all of my expectations to Him. It’s a journey of taking up a brand new life, but I’ll be really honest, I want to keep hanging on to what I think my life is supposed to look like. It seems as though God keeps shutting doors on what I believe is best for me. I realized yesterday that I had two choices to make based upon this reality; get angry with God, or let go and embrace His good gifts for me.
I’ll be really honest, I was angry with God for a few moments as thoughts swirled through my head that God was cruel and mean. I know that was just the devil. I know that wasn’t King Jesus. Maybe you’ve been there too, the place where God is trying to get so deep in your heart that the pain of it feels cruel and mean. When truly it’s there in the depth of our heart that the potter is reforming us, not out of cruelty, but out of His great love.
Sometimes my nephew wants a snack or a toy that I know wouldn’t be good for him at the moment. He’ll cry and get angry with me, because his limited view keeps him from being able to see that I have many good gifts to give him, just not the one he believes his heart needs.
As Jesus has an encounter with a rich man in Luke 18 he tells the man to sell everything he has; give to the poor and then, come and follow Him. The man doesn’t want to, because money has his heart. However, he doesn’t realize that God wants to fill his life with even greater treasure than anything all the world could buy. DId we ever pause and think that maybe we’re missing out on the blessing of God because we’re coming with our hands so full that there’s no room for God to fill them? I’m learning that the releasing of what I think I should be or become is really a reflection of my own heart that doesn’t trust who God is making me into. It’s really a reflection of my own heart that loves to be in control.
Lord, I trust you. Forgive me for even entertaining the thought that you are cruel or mean. Truly, you are a good, loving Savior and I can trust you. Jesus, fill my heart with your great love. Make a way in the wilderness and be the joy and delight of my heart. Fill my life with your blessing today, in Jesus name, Amen.