and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.”….(1 Kings 17:4).
I hate it when Jesus goes to hard places in my heart. I really do. I know though, because of the fear that rises up inside of me it’s an area in my heart that needs to grow in submission to His will.
….Jesus, I believe, help my unbelief….
Something inside of me rises up and says, “Something BAD is going to happen! You need to do something about this!” My self-sufficiency kicks in and it’s unhealthy, because I feel trapped there, like I must stay in that place, because if I let go, something might happen.
Do you ever wonder why the same circumstances keep arising in your life? Could it be because God is trying to press something out of us there and we keep resisting? For me, I’ve always found comfort in a cushy bank account, lots of savings and have leaned into a very hard work ethic to make sure things stayed safe.
Now, I feel like God is challenging me to step out into waters that make me very afraid to trust in His sufficiency. To give more, and have less, so that He can do something out of my own poverty that sometimes, I just don’t believe that He’ll do. I can’t seem to get around my thick skull, that God can work in my situation apart from me working really hard to make it happen.
Elijah is told to go to a widow’s house where he will be provided for. He goes out with faith and God uses ravens to provide for him along the way, RAVENS! Then, when he arrives at the widow’s home, she only has one small jar of flour and oil, but God continues to make sure that the flour and oil never run out.
I have never trusted God enough to go out and be fed by ravens. My faith is too limited to calculators and what makes sense on paper. Yet, radical faith calls us out to places of trust with God where only He can show up. God keeps taking me to that place in my heart and I keep wanting to take over control. Yet, I am learning, slowly, that I must rest in His control.
Lord, thank you. Thank you for taking me to those hard places in my heart. It feels so scary and uncertain, but I know that you are trustworthy and true. I can trust your heart as I rest in it. Jesus, be my joy, delight, and hope, not money, self-sufficiency or my own comfort. I believe, help my unbelief, Amen.