Growing Fat with Fear, Pride, Insecurity and Control

“who eat at Jezebel’s table.”….(1 Kings 18:19).

For many years, I fed upon fear, pride, insecurity, and control. Therefore, what my life kept producing was a woman who lived in captivity, controlled by my own fears. I was a glutton to them with a heart and mind that were growing fat with sin. Eventually, our sins start to leak out, until we begin to starve ourselves from feasting at the wrong table.
I hear many people say, “I’m going to stop eating sugar, or I’m going to stop eating fast food.” I hear very few people say (myself included), “I’m going to stop feasting upon fear, pride, insecurity, and control.”
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It is no wonder our world is so broken, with so many of us feeding at the wrong table, our minds get weighed down. Out spirits become burdened with our own self-indulgent gluttony. I think what my life needs, more than anything, is not a fast from food, for truly, the issue isn’t food, the issue is the heart. We become addicted to food, exercise, sports, tv, success, money, and material things, because of things like fear, insecurity, and control.
The longer we feed at their table, the deeper our deception goes. Bad habits formed over many years take a long time to break. The same goes for sinful habits we have indulged in. It will require a fasting of the soul to break them. A relentless pursuit of freedom. A change in our minds and wills to start feeding at the right table.
The only way to be free is to dine at the Lord’s table. The table of His love, mercy, grace, and goodness. Truly, He is sufficient.
A few weeks ago, the Lord challenged me to take a step away from fear and into faith. It meant dealing with something in my life that I didn’t want to make known. It meant releasing control and fear. It meant laying down some things that I wanted to hold on to. I decided that God is trustworthy and that He honors people who release their fears and practice faith.
This was a big step for me, to side with God and to start feasting from His table. Now, I sense His peace and grace. My belief in who He is for me is growing because fear and control aren’t weighing me down. This journey with Jesus is all about learning to daily fight for our freedom as God grows and shapes us into new people our hearts swell with His love so that we learn how to be content in every circumstance, in Jesus name.
Abba, daddy, you are so good to me. You are a good, loving father who desires to give good gifts to His children. I know that you are giving me good gifts even now. Gifts of your love, grace, and mercy. Gifts of the joy of Jesus. Gifts of your sufficiency. Gifts of contentment and peace. Gifts of a heart that is full of you. Jesus, let it be so. I want to grow in you, Amen.

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