we also glory in our sufferings…. (Romans 5:3)
There are still moments in my life of deep grieving with God. I imagine it’s somewhat similar to the grief someone feels in their heart when they think of a loved one who has passed away. Something comes up or happens and a memory is triggered and grief comes knocking.
This is the reality of life, is it not? Pain, grief, and suffering are true experiences in a world of sin and loss. Leah was a woman who grieved too. She was unloved by her husband Jacob. She lived as a woman in a marriage who played second fiddle to her sister, Rachel, who was adored by Jacob. In her grieving, she saw only her pain.
It wasn’t until she had her fourth son that she made the choice to stop complaining and start praising. The three sons she had prior she had with the hopes that maybe, just maybe, Jacob would love her. The fourth son she named Judah, which means praise. The line of Judah would be where the Messiah would come from. Truly, even in her abandonment, grief, and sadness, God brought an opportunity for praise and blessing. He brought something good out of her pain.
Not long ago, something literally died inside of my soul. The pain of it, I cannot even begin to describe, but you understand because you’ve experienced a similar pain. A parent who has lost a child grieves with deep pain over their loss because their heart poured out unending love into their child. They poured it out with joy. Now that the child is gone, their love has not stopped, but they have no place to pour it, except into the arms of God. Sometimes it’s poured it out through tears or crying out to God, other times it is poured out in the silence of our own hearts in prayer.
We must also remember to pour out our grief through praise. Without praise, bitterness will flow from our heart and into our lives.
I get it, the question of why, why did this happen? I ask myself the same questions and my response has been to say, “Heather, praise. You don’t have to know why just praise and trust what God is doing.”
I have met people who you can tell have been broken and have learned to praise. Their lives are fruitful for the Kingdom. They become authentic people because they have experienced such a painful death that their hearts have been resurrected into different people full of compassion, and kindness. I see this happening in my life and for that reason, I will praise, even in my grief.
So go ahead, grieve your loss, but don’t grieve without hope. Let God pour His love into your heart as you hold fast to Him in your grief and pain.
Lord, your love has been poured out into my heart. The grief I experience is real. There are faces, hearts, and souls that I miss deeply. Resurrect my pain. I pour out that love into your hands. Use it now to grow my heart in love and compassion for people. Lord, today, I will praise, in Jesus name, Amen.