I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land….(Psalm 143:6)
I remember when my nephew was born. He was such a beautiful sight. He had nothing to offer us, but his presence. Oh, but what a joy his presence was to us as we held him in our arms.
I remember his big head of hair and his beautiful soft body. As I held him it was as if time stood still and we were experiencing a sense of togetherness that today, we rarely do, because both of us just seem to be so busy. Me with my list of things to do and he with his toys to play with.
I am learning that the kind of person God receives in me is a simple child- a newborn baby. God welcomes me as a person, not as a project. He receives me not based on my performance, but simply, as a human being, made in His image. With all of my imperfections, insecurities, and weaknesses. He longs to hold me as a newborn child so that I would know and understand that there’s no flaw in me that He sees. He dances and sings over me as a mother and father do their newborn child.
Over time, it became clear to us that my nephew has special needs, but we love him just the same. If we could be honest, we too are special needs children before the Lord. Some of us try and hide our fears and insecurities. We don’t want others to see we have them, so we run from them instead. Therefore, we mask our pain with clothes, jobs, relationships and the pursuit of something, anything that will make us feel important. Yet, we must remember that no newborn child can do anything to make their parent love them more. Truly, the very best thing about a newborn child is simply to have their presence with you.
I am learning, very slowly, that the very best of me that I can offer before God is simply me. Just Heather in all of her fears, insecurities, and struggles. Heather, like a newborn child, whose Heavenly Father delights over her. For this is the most reassuring of love that I have ever tasted. The love of a Father who loves me not for what I do, but simply for who I am, as one of God’s children.
Lord, I’m starting to get it. You simply love me. Not for what I do, the job I hold the place I’m at or how fast I can run for you. You want me. Just simply Heather, like a newborn child who can offer you nothing, but simply my presence. Lord, continue to grow my heart. Satisfy me in your love, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.