You need to persevere…(Hebrews 10:36)
This word keeps coming up in my life- perseverance. God has been taking me through a season where the place I am in is less than ideal. In fact, there are many days and moments when I don’t want to be in this place at all, but I hear the Lord say, “Heather, abide in me.”
My idea of what I could be and should be doing for God and where I should be and could be doing it is keeping me from being fully present in the place God has me. I feel my heart being pulled towards distractions. I don’t want to embrace the journey because its hard. I want a do-over. I want to be able to go back in time and hit the reset button, make a different decision and walk a different path so that my life didn’t take this turn.
Yet, God is teaching me that as I persevere in life through the things I don’t want He grows my character as I abide in His love. A growing character in this present season is the gift God is growing in me. If I could be quite honest, I don’t really want that gift. Yet, as much as I’m trying to run from the place God has put me in the season He has placed me in, I hear His voice saying, “Heather, stay put and trust me.”
I think part of the problem is that I’m entertaining this lie that says, “You need a do-over because it’s done. Never again will what you desire come to fruition.” I only feel this way because sometimes, my faith is very weak and limited. I can only see what’s in front of me or what I can perceive in my near future, so my heart grows weary and I long once again for the reset button. I am learning though, that sometimes, my biggest problem is that I don’t want to let go and trust God with a new journey, because I keep longing for the old one.
As I persevere the Lord is burning away things in my life that have kept me from running with true devotion as a child of God. Maybe for you, life feels too hard, so you give up. Your circumstances seem unfair so you get angry with God and others. You bury your head in the sand and determine that this is all life has to offer you. Yet, the Spirit of the Lord says, “you must persevere.”
As we do, our hearts become awakened in God’s grace. The promised land of His presence meets us as we learn to let go and trust Him in our difficult seasons.
Lord, sometimes, I don’t want to persevere in the place you have called me. Sometimes, I just really want something different. This reveals a selfish, rebellious part of my heart. God, forgive me. What I really want is you. I believe in your redemption I just have my ideas of what that is supposed to look like. Forgive me for my foolishness. Make me new, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.