And if I perish, I perish.”….(Esther 4:16).
Esther understood that unless God showed up in her situation, she was as good as dead. She asks the Jews to fast with her so that she can be prepared well, full of God’s power and blessing as she enters into King Xerxes presence to make her petition.
I’m not sure we live the same way as Esther, with a sense in our lives that if God doesn’t show up, we’re done for. We either rely on our own abilities, get lost in worry or give way to prideful motivations. We’re not all too desperate for God because our minds are busy stewing over senseless things that have no weight in the Kingdom. I’m only saying this because I live it, almost on a daily basis. I don’t operate with an awareness that each day I need to live with a desperation that if God doesn’t show up in my heart and mind I’m certainly done for. I’ll absolutely give into sin left to my own devices apart from God being presently active in my life.
God doesn’t withhold His presence in our lives, but sometimes, we don’t create the space for Him to work. We can’t seem to let go of control or fancy ourselves with the thought of letting Him do His thing. Maybe we care far too much about our own ego and self-advancement, so our platform is only big enough for ourselves, making no room for God.
Esther’s actions proved she understood with absolute certainty she was desperate for Gods action on her behalf. Therefore, she emptied herself, prayed and sought the Lord’s favor. I often find myself only seeking God with the same desperation in these Esther like moments, when everything in my life comes crashing down.
Yet, I recognize that truly, even today, on a normal Saturday with nothing big on the schedule that I need to approach this day with the same kind of attitude, being fully present and aware that I need God to show up in my life. Therefore, whatever is crowding space in my heart with God needs to be brought out into the light so I can be a true Kingdom worker for Him today wherever I find myself. Even on an ordinary Saturday.
Lord, I need you. Fill me with your power today. I need your fresh fire of the Holy Spirit to be present in my life. Lord Jesus, use my life today. I want to be a Kingdom worker for your name. My life is in your hands. Use me, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.