The name of the LORD is a fortified tower….(Proverbs 18:10).
I remember as a teenager overhearing an adult say something about me that absolutely crushed me. After shooting them the death glare from hades I made my way out into the hall to shed a few tears. Then, I went looking for my father. I told my dad what as said and he just simply held me as I wept in his arms. Quite honestly, what I needed most was not my dad to fix the situation, but to just hold me so I could experience the warmth of His acceptance and love.
I get it. People have hurt you. They’ve cut you deep. Maybe the wounds are fresh. Maybe their old wounds that never quite healed. There is a place we can go with our wounds. It is in the arms of our Father’s love and acceptance.
I am learning that more often than not when people hurt us through their words, actions or neglect it’s because of some brokenness in their own life that’s, unfortunately, leaking into ours. A critical spirit, a proud heart or insecurity that they have never dealt with. Sadly, their unwillingness to deal with the pain of their own life spills out into ours trying to redefine our identity. We need to be self-aware that we are capable of the same actions, thus, taking our own need for healing seriously so that our own issues don’t keep spilling out and hurting people who start getting too close.
I’ve learned that we can’t get mad at those people who’ve hurt us, but instead, we must pray for their pain too. Yes, we should lovingly confront and have healthy conflict resolution whenever possible. That only helps both parties grow, but we should never hide behind walls of gossip or ignore the issue so that we don’t have to deal with it. Sadly, the enemy fills in the silence in those situations and trust me, his words are always sent to destroy our possible reconciliation and healing with that person.
I never wanted to be in this place. The place of needing healing. The place where I had to take a time-out to go looking for my Father so He could wrap me in HIs arms of love and acceptance. I always wanted to be the person who just kept moving forward. The one who just pulled herself up by her bootstraps and trudged on. Yet, what I have found in the resting is a new heart, a new mind and a new sense of faith in God. I’ve learned that people are not my enemy. I’ve learned how to entrust my unfair situations to God and probably most importantly, I’ve learned how to find my worth in simply being a child of God.
Maybe the slowing down is so that we can start to see our future. A brighter future with God. Not the one where we believe life is one big disappointment after another and we’ll “just always be this way.” What a tragedy to view life from that perspective. There’s something about Jesus that I need every day for my life. It is His sustaining grace, found only in HIs love, so I’ll go looking for my Father today. I pray you do the same.
Lord, what a journey you and I have been on. I do not understand some of this pain I have experienced. Quite honestly, I feel a disappointment in humanity on many levels, but you are bigger than that. I cannot place my emotions into the hands of sinful people with their own issues, just like I have mine. You wrap me in your loving arms. You embrace me. You are redeeming and restoring my life. I believe it, in Jesus name, Amen.