“You of little faith, why are you so afraid?…(Matt 8:26).
I understand that every fear I have is really rooted in control. I love the idea of knowing the outcome and having a plan. I find comfort in them. As you can see, control can be a bit of an issue in my heart. It manifests itself in different ways. I have found, at least for me, it is always knocking, in some small way or another.
God has been taking me on this journey. A journey deep into my heart, away from my plans and into deep waters. The deep waters of my own sinful heart. The places where I believe if I don’t walk this way or do this thing something bad is going to happen or the results I wish to have won’t come to fruition. It’s this place where I sense Him leading me, but part of me doesn’t want to go. It’s this journey out onto the deep where He’s asking me to do things that, quite frankly, just don’t make sense.
I keep hearing His voice saying, “Heather, rest.” “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough trouble on its own.” “Don’t stress about money, I am your provider.” “Don’t worry about what the future has for you, I hold it in the palm of my loving hand and my plans for you are good.”
Life with Jesus is a grand adventure, is it not? Adventures are always a little risky. They require us to do things that might bump up against what feels safe. I like feeling safe. I’m not much of a risk taker. The thought of jumping out of planes or doing something adventurous like that sounds absolutely terrifying to me. I don’t like the idea of placing my life in the control of something or someone else. Yet, I hear the Lord saying, “Jump, I’ll catch you.” “Heather, don’t you see, I am safe, I love you and I am working for your good. Keep following me, don’t give in to discouragement or fear, but trust in my faithful love for you.”
I’m not sure where life has you on your faith journey right now, but rest assured that God is for you. He sees you and loves you. Keep taking His hand, even when it feels unsafe and scary. He’s trying to grow you out there on the waters and trust me, He won’t leave you out there all alone. His hand and His heart are always with you as you enjoy this adventure together.
Lord, these waters, I don’t like them, but you never said following you would be safe. I know that I’m safe in your love, but my need to be in control tells me that these risks are not safe, but truly God, I can trust you. You have proven yourself time and time again to be a provider to be someone that will never leave me and to be someone that holds my life and future in the palm of your ever-loving hands. I submit all my wishes, hopes, wants and desires to you today, in Jesus name, Amen.