Yesterday I Said This To My Husband…

If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you…. (Proverbs 9:12).

Yesterday, anxiety and fear came knocking. My husband came to me with a request and quickly, my heart and mind become flooded with all the things that could go wrong. Although, in the back of my mind I sensed the peace of the Lord in moving forward with the direction he wanted to go I was hesitant to express that because my fears were right there with me.
 
Marriage, raising children and growing as a person all come with the challenge of learning to let go of control. More specifically, letting go of the need to control the people and circumstances in our life.
 
I said to my husband, “Here are my reservations, concerns, and the reasons why I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I’ll leave the final decision up to you and support you in whatever you decide.”
 
As we prayed through the issue together my husband sensed we were to move forward with his request, so he did and you know what happened next? I got internally angry. I don’t think my husband noticed, but I knew it was there. I thought, “He didn’t choose what I wanted, how could he?” I realized what was flooding my heart and mind was not wisdom from God, but a plan of the enemy to place a wedge between me and my husband.
 
After all, I knew that the peace of God was leading me to side with my husband, but I was too prideful to tell my husband that, because my fear still wanted to hang onto some small bit of control, hoping my husband would side with my lack of faith.
 
As I submitted my anger and fears to the Lord my heart and mind became flooded with grace. Because of this, I was able to move forward in supporting my husband with joy.
 
Letting go of control is hard, isn’t it? The people and circumstances in our life can bring us so much fear. Yet, we cannot, nor will we ever find lasting joy and freedom if we constantly concern ourselves with seeking to control everything and everyone around us. We will only hurt people and have extremely shallow relationships, never truly being at peace.
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The only way to find freedom from control is to walk by faith and not be run by our emotions. Emotions will swing back and forth like the raging sea, but faith remains strong and steady for the journey ahead.
 
Lord, I trust you. I’m sorry for the times when I have doubted you. I can’t see what tomorrow brings and sometimes I just really want to be in control of it. Forgive me for my lack of faith. Thank you for your peace that surpasses all understanding as I submit my fears to you, in Jesus name, Amen.

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