After all that Hezekiah had so faithfully done, Sennacherib king of Assyria came and invaded Judah… (2 Chronicles 32:1).
Whenever I set out to do work for God the enemy always starts pushing the same old buttons of fear and control in my life. I can sense him start to whisper things into my heart and mind. Things like, “Don’t share that, you won’t be received with love. They’ll want nothing to do with you.” “Here, you need more of this in your life, because if you don’t, something bad will happen in your life.”
For me, I have certain vices I turn to that control my thoughts. For some reason, indulging in them makes me feel better. It’s my way of controlling something in my life that I’m not sure how to live without. Have I grown in this area of my life? Absolutely. Am I as far as I would like to be? No way.
The past couple of days I have been asking God for a broken and contrite heart over this issue in my life. You see, in the back of my mind, I know it’s not good for me, but as a pig that has been washed, sometimes, I return to wallowing in the mud. I forget just how great God is and how truly, He is sufficient for me. I heard him say to me yesterday, “You need to take a break from it. It’s becoming too important.” You see, my issue is a good thing given to us by God. It’s just that sometimes, a good thing becomes wayyy too important in my life.
Until we can truly mourn our sin it will seek to control us. Whenever we set out to be courageous for God the enemy will always seek to push our buttons of control, anger, fear and the like. We must, with boldness, step up and step out as we surrender our comforts to the Lord, allowing His comfort to be our joy and victory instead. This is the only way to freedom.
Lord, break my heart over my own personal sin. Make me sick over it. Lord, you know that this thing that you have given me is great, but sometimes, it becomes an idol in my heart. It happens so quickly. Lord, please forgive me and help me as I grow to continue to surrender all of my life to you, in Jesus name, Amen.