if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount…(Lk 19:8).
I used to think that if I had wronged someone that as long as I went to the Lord, seeking His forgiveness, it wasn’t imperative that I went to that person, seeking theirs. Now I’m realizing that this is wrong. You know what’s hard though? Changing my behavior. Because this means that I need to dig deep into my past to seek forgiveness from someone I wronged.
This is hard because if I could be quite honest, in my own pride, I have thought, but what if they never seek MY forgiveness for how they wronged me? Or what if they paint me as this awful person and use my willingness to go to them seeking their forgiveness against me? I know these are traps from the enemy sent to keep me from finding freedom through humility.
Humility is hard though when you have an ego to protect…that’s why pride must die. We must, on all accounts do what’s right before the Lord and trust Him with the results. Even if this means we look stupid in the eyes of people. Even if it means they never take ownership of their sins. Even if it means we have to humble ourselves in the deepest way possible, going to a place in our hearts our ego wants to protect.
You know the feeling, your ego tries to convince you it was their fault, it’s not that big of a deal and you’ve dealt with them not in your life for this long, you can certainly continue that way. I’m sure that we can, but is that what honors God most? I don’t believe so at all.
God’s heart is for reconciliation. Therefore, our heart should be too. It might not be safe for us to reconcile to the point of inviting that person back into our lives, but we should certainly be willing to break the wedge between us that most likely was set up there through some of our sins against them.
Therefore, today I’m sending an email to someone I really should have probably reached out to a long time ago. Today I’m doing what my pride, ego, fear, and insecurity have tried to stop me from doing until now. Would you do the same?
Lord, I submit myself to you. Forgive me for how I have wronged others in my own immaturity. I have been so foolish. I no longer want to protect my ego though. Help me to walk instead with your Holy Spirit and give me the grace to continue walking the journey of faith that you have for me, in Jesus name, Amen.