“Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm…..(Mark 4:39).
This morning was one of those mornings where my heart started screaming thoughts of fear into my mind. Thoughts that seek to steal my joy in Christ and my purpose in Him. Thoughts that want to whisk me away into a place of worry, doubt, and anxiety.
Since I know this I realized I had but one choice to make. I had to submit my fears to Jesus. I had to stop, pause, reflect and let go. There’s still this slight apprehension in my soul even though I am submitting myself. I’m realizing that the Lord is using this pregnancy in my life to go somewhere very, very deep in my heart to free me from some deeply embedded fears. If I could be quite honest, I don’t like it here, but I know it is for my good and I certainly can see that it is for my growth.
When our hearts and minds feel anxious, worried and afraid chances are its because we’re hanging onto something in our past that has brought us comfort. Something we’ve used before to convince us that as long as we have this, life will be OK. The Lord is taking me somewhere, shattering me of that piece of control to help me see that my truest identity is found in His love. My greatest comfort is not in having, but in letting go so that I can simply enter into the arms of His love and not keep holding onto the things I have held onto for far too long.
Abba, papa, daddy, sometimes I’m afraid. I know it’s because I have some wrong beliefs about you. I know it’s because I have comforts I’ve held onto for too long. I know it because sometimes my first inclination is not to trust you. Please forgive me. I want to be a woman who trusts fully in your love. I surrender my fears and worries to you today and ask to be held instead in your love, in Jesus name, Amen.