Since they had nothing to eat, Jesus called his disciples to him and said… (Mark 8:1).
Sometimes I forget that Jesus sees my need, even before I ask. I get caught up in worry and start fretting about what I don’t have. I’ll get anxious over what I need from God instead of trusting that He already sees my need before I even ask.
Sometimes I think God wants to fill our cups, but our bellies are already full. Full of our own self-sufficiency, full of our own good ideas, plans and ways we will provide for ourselves. You see, the feeding of the 4,000 came about because those people in the crowd stayed long enough with Jesus where they needed His provision. I wonder if we ever stay long enough anywhere with Jesus to actually need Him?
Here’s what I mean. Do we sit with Him in silence, asking Him to dig deep into the junk of our hearts, waiting for Him to reveal something that needs His renovation? Do we take risks in our faith that put us in places with Jesus where we actually have to start trusting Him? Do we give of our finances in a way that hurts? Are we generous in giving or stingy for fear of losing it all? Do we hang on tightly to what we own, or do we recognize that everything we have is really just a gift from God? Have we ever journeyed somewhere with Jesus, maybe back into our past, letting Him stay their long enough in the painful parts so that we might be healed or do we fall back on our unhealthy coping mechanisms instead?
Maybe God wants to show up and show off in our lives, but we keep shoving in and showing up. We’re impatient so we take matters into our own hands. We don’t trust God so we operate out of fear. We can’t see that everything is going to be OK so we never let God take us somewhere that stretches and challenges our faith. We hang onto our children out of fear that if we really let them go, they’ll never come back. You get what I’m saying. This journey of life is hard, even more so when we never learn the gift of letting go and trusting God.
I wonder what Jesus might want to do for you today? Consider asking Him to show you where you’ve run ahead of Him. Ask Him where you’ve provided for yourself instead of trusting in His sufficiency and be willing to stay somewhere with Him long enough that it starts to hurt a bit because it challenges all of your unhealthy coping mechanisms. I promise I’ll do the same.
Lord, show me where I am not trusting you. Please forgive me for using any unhealthy coping mechanisms. I so badly want to be like you. Grow, shape and change my faith to become more like you, I ask, in Jesus name, Amen.