They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”….(Mark 12:44).
Have you ever felt poor? I don’t mean, without money, I mean, you feel like you have nothing to offer, or nothing to show for yourself to be of any worth.
It wasn’t long ago that I felt this way, poor and not much to offer those around me. Much of my life prior to this time I had done a number of things that made me feel quite accomplished. But now I was in a place where all those things were stripped away and I had none of them to show for myself any longer. The only thing I had to offer was my heart and if I could be quite honest, from what God was showing me, it was in deep need of some major renovation.
Something happens in you when all you have to offer is your heart. It changes you. At least, it did me and if I could be quite honest, it was not a fun change for me. For so long my life was about what I did, now it was becoming about who I was as a child of God. When you’ve got 34 plus years of wrong thinking it is a painful stripping when God takes you through it. There were many days when I was done with the stripping. I was done feeling like I had nothing to offer, but you see, God kept me there because the work He was accomplishing in me hadn’t yet come to fruition. He’s loving enough to keep us somewhere hard until we grow into something new.
There were days where I felt so poor inside that it was almost crippling. I felt like since I had nothing to offer, I was wasting my time, not being productive for the Kingdom of God and in many ways I felt like a failure to God. I carried shame with me during that season, because I thought that the best me, was one who was accomplishing things for God. Little did I know that sometimes God needs us to take a back seat so He can accomplish unseen work in us instead.
So keep sacrificing, keep going to that hard place in your heart. Keep offering up yourself to God, even if all you have is simply yourself. Go ahead, keep loving that difficult spouse or child. I know it feels thankless, but God sees your sacrifice.
Keep pouring your time, energy and effort into your relationship with God. That was the only thing I could invest in during that season of my life as I sat in my apartment with no job of any real significance in the eyes of the world. I felt like that poor widow who went to her Lord not with anything to offer, but simply out of her poverty and her desperate need for grace. This is where He met me as I poured out nothing to Him but my heart and I found His love to be sufficient for me in a season where I had nothing to offer but myself.
I had to learn that my greatest investment was not in what I could show for others or accomplish but instead were the things God was working out in me. Please, do not grow weary if this is where you’re at, but keep praising God as you offer Him yourself. He is very pleased with that and simply wants to shower His love and grace upon you as He grows you in your deep understanding of His great love for you. Not based upon what you can do for Him, but simply because you are His child.
Lord, this truth was a hard and painful one for me to learn. I did not like it at all. I did not enjoy having everything I held dear stripped from me. I felt like a failure to you, but I soon learned that you were very pleased with me. You were proud of me, not because of what I did, but simply because I am your child. Thank you for showering me with unconditional love, in Jesus name, Amen.