Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy… (Matt 8:3).
Have you ever felt like a huge problem to other people, becoming like a leper to them? Something not to be loved, but instead, something to be scorned and pushed out? I have. The Lord is taking me on this healing journey, helping me see that my identity isn’t found in what people did or didn’t do, but it’s simply found in knowing Him and His love for me.
That’s simple to say though isn’t it? The problem that I’m dealing with is that the enemy keeps whispering things into my heart. Things about myself that were done or said during those times when I felt just like a leper; a problem to be disposed of. I can’t help but wonder where God was in those moments. I keep asking Him to show me and I’m learning that sometimes, we have to be willing to get go of what we expected God to do for us and be willing to trust Him with the bigger picture that we cannot see.
I am learning that when Jesus sees me, He sees His beloved, beautiful and messy daughter who is made in His image. He doesn’t shy away from my messes, casting me to the leper colony, but instead, holds me close to His heart and wraps me in His arms. This is the kind of love the Father has for me. He doesn’t turn away from my messy moments, He loves me deeply in the midst of them. He doesn’t shame me or scorn me for having them, He lovingly woos me to Himself so that I might find the comfort of His love that dances over me.
You see, people are always going to disappoint us. They’re always going to say and do things out of their own brokenness that will cut us deep and cast to the leper colony. Maybe we’ve treated others this way too, casting them aside because we acted out of our spiritual bankruptcy and uttered hurtful words towards them. Oh, Father, forgive us for our misunderstanding of love. Forgive us for treating people not as a person to be loved, but a problem to push out. We cannot receive what people utter to us in their bankruptcy, instead we must embrace what the Father says of us out of His fullness.
I know what you might be thinking though, “Will this person who hurt me ever ask for forgiveness?” If you’ve done your part in seeking their forgiveness for any wrong you may have done to them, know that before the Lord, you are right before Him and them.
They may never come to you and genuinely seek your forgiveness for any wrong they have done. Please, let that go. Entrust them to your Heavenly Father who seeks to redeem and restore all things and who watches and waits for you not to throw up your first once more, but instead, to come running into His arms. Yes, this is where He wants you, not on the rooftops shouting about all the wrong done to you, but in the clutches of His embrace so that He can heal you and hold you close, even when you feel just like a leper.
Lord, hold me close to your heart and remind me of the love you have for me. When the enemy wants to take me into the past and speak shame into my life over it, I submit myself to you and thank you for your great grace for a sinner like me. Thank you that you see me as your beloved child. A beautiful daughter, made in your image. Yes, may I live in that truth today, in Jesus name, Amen.