I wanted to be sure I was not running and had not been running my race in vain…. (Galatians 2:2).
Have you ever been “running for God” only to find out that the person you were actually running for was yourself? I have. I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve gotten to the bottom of my true intentions that I realize my motivation for running was all about me.
It feels great to look good to other people, to have our platforms and praise. Yet, Jesus never went seeking for a platform. Instead, He pursued a garden tomb. A place of dying to Himself so that God could raise Him up in His own time. Jesus didn’t seek the praise of people. He simply sought to serve them. Until we understand that our role is meant to be one and the same we will always value our own image over our pursuit of humility and true Kingdom work.
My ego is sometimes my greatest stumbling block. It’s what holds me back and keeps me from truly loving and living like Jesus. In order for me to love and live like Jesus, I have to be willing to stop running for myself and instead allow the Lord to carry me. You see, as He carries me, there is no striving on my part. There is no running the wrong direction and there is no doubt in my heart on where I should be going. When I set myself into the arms of the Lord, I cannot hold my head high in pride, because I have burrowed it in His bosom instead- close to His heart.
The closer I am to His heart, the more I will be like Him, instead of myself. As I allow Him to carry me I can rest assured that my joy is complete as I hold fast to His love for me. You see, it’s not the running God desires in me most, it’s my willingness to rest and be still in His bosom. A place of safety, security, and tenderness. A place where I am reminded that truly, my greatest joy is not in what I do, but in simply being His child.
Lord, I don’t want to labor in vain. I don’t want to run aimlessly. I don’t want to run to try to prove my worth. I want to be still in your presence. Lord Jesus, make me like you as I allow myself to be held in your arms, I pray, in Jesus name, Amen.