An Ultrasound of Fear

Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases….Psalm 115:3

The other day I was having a bit of a freak out moment. In fact, it happened more than once on different occasions. The first was at my 20-week ultrasound. This is when they measure the baby, check for any issues and confirm whether or not your child is healthy based upon what they can see.
Since I wasn’t really aware of this prior to our arrival I didn’t have time to prepare myself and maybe, I wouldn’t have really known how to prepare myself to begin with. As the tech started to measure and examine our baby deep fear flooded my heart and mind. I mean, overwhelming, really deep fear as everything that could go wrong with my child started to flood my thoughts.
I had to take a step back in that moment and release a few things to the Lord.
I had to tell myself, “Heather, God is in control and you can trust Him.” I also prayed, “Lord, even if my child isn’t completely healthy, even if they have some issues that need to be addressed, you are still so very good, gracious and trustworthy.” Wow, if I could be quite honest, those were hard words to pray. Mostly because sometimes we have this skewed view of God that if He doesn’t fix our problems, give us healthy children, marriages, great jobs, the extra money, etc. that somehow He’s not good.
Now that I’m pregnant I have truly come to a very full, real and honest realization that I am not in control. Having this little one inside of me is truly a gift from God, but there are times, maybe when I don’t feel her move as much that I start to worry that maybe something is wrong. It’s then when I have to release my fear and place my faith in God. I have to condition my heart and mind to praise no matter what comes my way.
Our thoughts can very quickly start to control us. They can throw us into a place of fear, isolation, and despair within a moments notice. Satan will certainly try to convince us when we are wallowing in our doubt that God is not good. He’s mean and that He doesn’t love us. Yet, for those who have learned to praise and release control freedom awaits them in moments that just don’t make sense. Freedom to embrace each circumstance with peace knowing that God is in control.
As I think about being a mom I daydream about how great it’s going to be, but I also realize that it’s going to be immensely hard and even, painful. It’s going to take a releasing of control that I have yet experienced.
It is through hardships as we learn to release control when we grow the most in Christ-likeness. As we experience pain, we are pressed into the reality that everything in life is simply a gift that has been given to us from God to be stewarded. Yes, even in our darkest moments when we choose to praise we find healing, grace, and mercy, in Jesus name.
Lord Jesus, I trust you. I release any fear, worry or need to be in control to you. I know the devil wants to place me in darkness, trying to run my thoughts, but I have the mind of Christ. May I rest in knowing that I am deeply loved by you. You hold me close, you love my child more than I ever will. They don’t belong to me, truly, they belong to you, in Jesus name, Amen.

2 thoughts on “An Ultrasound of Fear

  1. “It is through hardships as we learn to release control when we grow the most in Christ-likeness.”

    That is one of the best sentences I have read in a long while. Thank you for succinctly laying out this all important truth. I have been trying to communicate this in my own blog and here you go and put it so beautifully. Excellent! Well done!

    Thank you for this encouraging post. May you and your child be safe, healthy and blessed by Jesus.

    Homer Les


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