If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness… (2 Cor 11:30).
It’s very easy for me to set myself up on a pedestal when I think about the gifts that I have for God. The human heart, being a bit of an idol factory has no problem daydreaming about the glorious projection of its own self-image before others. I have even noticed simple things about myself that I don’t really care all that much for in this regard. I’m recognizing that this isn’t just an issue of pride in the heart, but sometimes, I want people to notice me so that it can soothe my insecurities.
Whenever a sentence starts in my head with…..”I want people to think, or I hope people think”…..I know that I’m headed down the wrong trail. I’ll either be led by pride, insecurity or both. The human heart loves to wander along the path that leads them towards the praise of man, but those journeys, in the end, are futile and meaningless.
I’m not defined by my physical beauty, success, occupation, education or pedigree. Truly, I am defined by the Lord Jesus who sees me, knows me and loves me. I’m working on re-writing the dialogue in my heart and I’m stopping myself when I sense pride and insecurity start to guide my thoughts and motives.
After all, Paul reminds us that if we must boast, let it be about our weaknesses. This means we must be willing to live transparent lives before others because when we do, we put our humanness on display so that Christ can abound more and more as He works in our lives to grow and shape us into His image.
Father, I always want my heart and mind to worship you. It’s just sometimes my heart starts to seek the praise of people. Please forgive me when I do this. I want to be like you, so may my life be lived out not for the display of my own pride and insecurity, but instead to put you on display, in Jesus name, Amen.