Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…. (Php 2:3).
The quickest killer of any relationship is selfishness. I have noticed in my life that selfishness tends to manifest itself in self-righteousness. I tend to place people under me and in doing so act selfishly towards them as I undervalue them because of the fact that I have wrongfully believed I was better than them.
For a long time I did this with my husband. As you can imagine that didn’t make for good dynamics within our relationship. It was easy for me to see the flaws, the things I wish he wouldn’t do and the ways I wanted to fix him. This is selfishness at its worst, because it makes people immediately feel unloved, uncared for and disrespected. No man or woman can thrive in any relationship with someone who sees them as a person to be fixed instead of a person to be loved, honored and cherished.
It took me awhile, but I finally learned to let go of my idea that I was better than my husband. I just realized that we’re different and there’s nothing wrong with that. We have different likes and priorities. That didn’t make him wrong, just different from me and until I learned to embrace our differences with joy I saw them not as a blessing, but a curse.
No one wants to be seen as a curse, but that’s what selfishness in the heart will do to people in our lives. It will always devalue, and strip the honor that we should be giving that person from their lives. Now, this doesn’t mean that we put up with destructive or abusive behavior and somehow honor that type of action towards us, no. It just means were not always looking for ways to fix that person to make them more like us, because, in our own hardened heart, we obviously know better than them.
Lord, help me to honor others above myself and to value who they are even though they might be different from me. Help me God to live in your grace and not in my self-righteous pride. I want you to be honored in me so that I might be a woman who gives others an opportunity to shine brightly for you, in Jesus name, Amen.