My Unbelief is Telling Me That People Will Just Fail Me Again

We put our hope in the Lord…..(Psalm 33:20)

Can I be really honest? Sometimes, because of the things I’ve been through, I easily lose faith in God’s ability to act because I place my hopes in people. Since I’ve been burned a time or two by others I have a hard time thinking that others won’t do the same. Which, actually keeps me from praying with great faith that God will work in their hearts because I’ve become cynical about it.
 
Have you ever done that? Believed that someone was going to fail you just like the last person because of what you’ve been through? Have you ever lacked the fervency to pray, because the past keeps whisking you away making you believe that they’re just going to treat you the same way as the last person?
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Maybe that’s just been me, but I want a different heart and a different attitude. You see, sometimes God walks us down the same or similar path to rip open some old wounds that need His healing. I think I’m noticing that I’ve used cynicism as part of my self-preservation to deal with the hurt I experienced. My cynical heart has become an unhealthy way that I coped with my past experiences. Now I’m seeing I need to change my heart and allow God to work in the ways that only He can.
 
I’m not saying that I’m all the way there, but I’m learning, with each moment to release my thoughts of unbelief and cynicism to the Lord as I’m met now with a similar challenge. I’m learning, once more, how to pray in faith, believing with all hope that God can and will work in the hearts of man and that they will respond in ever-increasing faith and humility.
 
Lord, this is a tough one for me. To really let go and trust you when I’ve covered up my heart with cynicism. Forgive me for my lack of belief. Help me now to grow in you and to grow in grace. I want to be a woman of great faith, let this be so, I pray, as I surrender my past and my present to you, in Jesus name, Amen.

2 thoughts on “My Unbelief is Telling Me That People Will Just Fail Me Again

  1. We are linear people trapped in time. Our present consists of an accumulation of the past, and that includes the consequences of pain and hurt we have endured. But I like what they say on investing prospectus, “Past performance in not an indication of future return.” We have a hard time with that. The thought is, if it happened before it will happen again. It may or it may not.

    What is inexcusable is when we conflate our experiences with fallen man with the Uncreated God. Because we are hurt by man we think that God will behave the same way. This is faulty thinking and takes a long time to correct. I know because I used to think this way.

    Here’s the rub. We don’t naturally walk by faith, we have to learn how to. If we have to learn this that means there is a beginning to this process. Since there is a beginning that means there is an absence of precedent. So what does our ‘self’ do? It takes our experience with fallen man, which we can see, and applies it to God, whom we can’t see, to fill in the gap. That is a problem because God doesn’t act like man.

    This is why it is faith. We have to bring our faulty thinking to Jesus, in faith, humble ourselves and say, “I don’t know. Lead me.” This takes time. Each time we step out in faith we will see His provision and guidance. Over time those faulty expectations of betrayal and hurt we projected on to God from our past hurts will be revealed to be faulty. Then we can repent and be forgiven for believing evil about God.

    To walk in faith we have to have a right perspective of who God is the only way we can do this is to step out in faith and let Him be Himself. Like any relationship getting to know Jesus deeper requires continual growth of trust. If we don’t yield more of our heart each time the relationship, and faith, will falter and fail.

    Cynicism acts like superglue over old wounds, sealing in the bitterness and pus. When we let God drain the bitterness we have an opportunity to heal. I was cynical like you were once. He had to break me of my pride in a brutal way to get me to see how wrong I was about Him. I am so thankful He did so. My old obnoxious, cynical ‘self’ was an abhorrent stench to my wife, family, friends and God. I repent before them and pray for forgiveness. May you be able to do the same.

    Blessings,
    Homer Les
    Uncompromising Faith

    Like

    1. “Cynicism acts like superglue over old wounds, sealing in the bitterness and pus. When we let God drain the bitterness we have an opportunity to heal”….Amen, that’s where I’m at! And thank you for your prayers for me. Truly, our right perspective of God on this issue changes everything. Thank you Homer!

      Liked by 1 person

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