We put our hope in the Lord…..(Psalm 33:20)
Can I be really honest? Sometimes, because of the things I’ve been through, I easily lose faith in God’s ability to act because I place my hopes in people. Since I’ve been burned a time or two by others I have a hard time thinking that others won’t do the same. Which, actually keeps me from praying with great faith that God will work in their hearts because I’ve become cynical about it.
Have you ever done that? Believed that someone was going to fail you just like the last person because of what you’ve been through? Have you ever lacked the fervency to pray, because the past keeps whisking you away making you believe that they’re just going to treat you the same way as the last person?
Maybe that’s just been me, but I want a different heart and a different attitude. You see, sometimes God walks us down the same or similar path to rip open some old wounds that need His healing. I think I’m noticing that I’ve used cynicism as part of my self-preservation to deal with the hurt I experienced. My cynical heart has become an unhealthy way that I coped with my past experiences. Now I’m seeing I need to change my heart and allow God to work in the ways that only He can.
I’m not saying that I’m all the way there, but I’m learning, with each moment to release my thoughts of unbelief and cynicism to the Lord as I’m met now with a similar challenge. I’m learning, once more, how to pray in faith, believing with all hope that God can and will work in the hearts of man and that they will respond in ever-increasing faith and humility.
Lord, this is a tough one for me. To really let go and trust you when I’ve covered up my heart with cynicism. Forgive me for my lack of belief. Help me now to grow in you and to grow in grace. I want to be a woman of great faith, let this be so, I pray, as I surrender my past and my present to you, in Jesus name, Amen.