I Wish Jesus Was My Greatest Treasure, But I’m Just Not There Yet

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also….(Luke 12:34)

I’m still working on making Jesus my greatest treasure. I wish I could say with full confidence that He is, but there are days and moments when He’s not. In fact, just recently I’ve felt my heart be carried away by worry. Mostly over those idols in my heart that love to rear their ugly head and catapult me into places of worry and isolation.
You see, when something has your heart, it has your mind, affections, time, energy and devotion. It’s hard to be fully present with others or enjoying fellowship with those you love when your heart and mind are running into a place of control, worry and idol worship.
I’m not always quick to recognize it either. So, I’ll indulge the flesh for a bit to soothe my worried and anxious heart. Sure, it my seem like its nothing big and others probably don’t even notice what’s going on in my heart and mind, but I know it. Because I watch myself slowly disengage from situations not pursuing people, but instead pursuing those things I treasure the most. Those temporal pleasures that I’ve set up as idols in my own heart that love to steal my affection.
I find it very easy to notice these selfish motivations in others closest to me. Mainly, my husband, which causes me to become easily annoyed with him as I watch his mind get carried away by something stealing his affection. Truth be told though, I have the same issues of selfishness that I’m dealing with in my own heart and mind.
Until we get to the root of why we hold so fast to the treasures we worship and admire, we will never truly and fully understand ourselves. Can I be really honest though? Sometimes, fully understanding myself means that I have to go somewhere painful in my life that I don’t really want to uncover, because doing so is going to require work. I’d rather be lazy and comfortable than diligent and humble as I pursue the painful experiences of my past to uncover the roots of why I find myself so easily indulging in my idols.
Is it possible to be free from such behavior? Yes, absolutely, but we must be wiling to admit that our treasures are idols in disguise. We must be honest before ourselves and before God that our hearts have a problem that only the love of God can fix. As we submit those realities to Him, His love can finally fill in the gaps that our fears told us He wouldn’t.
Then and only then, in my repentance can the Lord fill my heart with His grace as I walk in obedience to His love, setting my treasures aside to make Him my greatest delight. As I do this, I become more available for people. My greatest treasure is no longer me, but Jesus who reminds me that I am first and foremost a servant to my fellowman.
Jesus, be my greatest treasure. Help me to be spiritually strong in you as I submit my heart, mind and will unto you. Please forgive me when I make life all about me. Help me to grow up in you as I let go of myself to take up you new life. I want to love like you, in Jesus name, Amen.

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