I Wish I Was A Little More Desperate For Jesus

I have compassion for these people; they have already been with me three days and have nothing to eat….(Mark 8:2).

Sometimes I wish I was a little more desperate for Jesus. More often than not, I find myself easily distracted from Him. I’ll press into my abilities or the ways I’ve operated to make things work, instead of leaning heavily into His grace. When life becomes uncomfortable or less than desired, instead of sitting with Him in stillness, I’ll look for ways to flee my present woes.
Many of us might think that we’d be willing to go above and beyond with Jesus if He were here in the flesh. Sure, we’d stay for three days too with nothing to eat, just like those people did in Mark 8. At least, we think we would, but knowing me I’d probably have somewhere I needed to be, like a softball game, meeting, or in the comfort of my own home enjoying a good nights rest and a hot meal.
Sometimes, I’ll even prioritize my restful time on the couch over my restful time with Jesus. Isn’t that sad? I think it is. Mostly because, on a daily basis, the King of Glory wants to feed me with His bread. His life, peace and sustenance is what He longs to fill me with, but its hard for me to stay in His presence long enough to even begin to know or understand what my true needs really are.
I think this is why we have such a hard time truly hearing from God in the church. I think its why we don’t make ourselves available very often to hurting people. Since, in our own minds, we have too much to do, and can’t imagine giving up whatever it is upcoming on our schedule to remain present in this moment with Jesus.
My to-do list starts to run in my head and I go chasing it instead of chasing the Father. Thankfully, God has grace for to-do list chasers like me, but oh, how I long to sit at my Father’s feet, being forever changed by His love!
Father, I want you as my first priority. I know this isn’t always the case. I’m very quick to prioritize what’s best for me over what’s best for others. Lord, please help me to find that healthy balance of self-care and caring for others. May my home and my heart be an open door for your work to do be done. May I always be inviting others into my life to taste and see that you are good, in Jesus name, Amen.

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